Look at me! I'm the Update Fairy!
Once upon a merry time when we were really bored in FIRC, Aimee and I made this page, hoorah hooray. Well, now it's been a whole summer and a couple of months since FIRC, and I'd like to think it's made us better people. Now I can't speak for Aimee since it's midnight at my house and I certainly hope she's not here, but FIRC has NOT made me a better person. The only difference in me since that class??? I'M HALF AN INCH TALLER! Wow, tell THAT to the freshies. Guess what kiddies? Take this class and you'll grow half an inch! Wow! Now, I shall give you some new, improved rants. Oh, I'm lying to you people as usual. They're tthe same whines. That half inch certainly wqasn't in my creativity! Ha ha ha...
10) I've eaten so many M and M's, I'll never get any sleep! Wow!
9)I'm too lazy to hook up my Nintendo 64 so I might amuse myself with Zelda Majora's Mask! I'm losing anyway... Any day now I'll crack and get myself an internet walkthrough.
8)Let's see... rant... It's very hard to rant when hepped up on caffeine.. I'm soooooo happy! Happy happy happy! Too happy... I'll rant about how I must be on drugs
7) Ahh, now I can rant about how I'm not on drugs and therefore cannot make millions of dollars selling my surplus to bigger junkies than me!
6)Crap, I'm only on six!? I'll rant about how slow I am at coming up with these...
5) IT'S JANUARY!!! The worst month ever! Nothing good has ever happened in JANUARY!
4) I think I'll now rant about my cheekbones. They're so freaky! Can I be a cheekbone donor to the less fortunate?I've got plenty to go around! Large cheekbones for ALL!
3) OKAY...well then...this will be continued...
2) Hmm.. rants.. rant... Oh! I suck at HTML! I used to sort of know this stuff, and now I've forgotten it all! Hmm.. Maybe I just realized that web programming is only for weirdos who want carpal tunnel..
1) My Phantom of the Opera Christmas ornament is too short! It only has some opening music and the lines.. umm.. crap... now I've forgotten them.. Ah ha! An excuse to go listen to it! ACK! Legitimate rant! Some fiend has removed my ornament from my kitchen, and taken it off to her lair! Grr... Welp, now you people will never know. Unless I let you into my house. And to that, I give you a quote from some source I can't remember :
"Not bloody likely!"
Goodness, what IS Laura's house for? Wait, Kenny may see it again so she might help me with Majora's Mask...
AND so ends this updated rant session. I'm afraid all the rest is just wayyyy outdated. I should probably delete some of it, but I'm too lazy. G'night people who can actually sleep! I'll still be here... eating my M and M's until the fairy of metabolism who visits me in the night finds me awake and then abandons me, leaving me to go see Richard Simmons and whine that the swings cut into my hips. Hee hee... that was a funny scene....
Here's Kristen and Aimee Top Ten Rantz!
10)Aimee took my chair and is taking over my rant page! Grr!
9)Kristen is overly possessive and tends to be evil...grr...
8) Aimee owes me! Big time!
7) No i don't cuz i have info which could ruin ur life...muhahahha!
6) I can ruin your life even more! HOO-WHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
5) Sigh...got a point...i hate it when Kristen is right!
4) Back to legit rants, my head hurts
3) Dandan constantly is dissing our web page! how rude!
2) My cat is old! NOOOOO!!!
1) Popcorn doesn't follow a very set schedule!!! BOOO!!!!
0) THS GRAND FINALE...We ran out of numbers!!!! (sucks to be us!).,..and there is no pink option!!! (for kristen's demented needs to be a stereotype!)
Here's a Beautiful story by Aimee and Kristen...all about rants
Once upon a merry time, oh by the way this thing's in ryhme...just kidding... There was a BEAUTIFUL, yet shallow, princess named Danni. Now one day Danni came to school all happy and stuff. But, the evil security guards said Danni's oufit wasn't appropriate. Now, just because Danni was the princess of nudity there was no reason to say she couldn't wear what she wanted. But that stupid security guard...wait a minute! this particular webpage, that is not associated with Dandan, sucks! i will now rant about how sucky it is!!!
10) its so bad even mala find faults with it...wait a sec...mala finds faults with everything...
(THIS COMMENT WAS NOT CONDONED OR ENDORSED BY THE INTELLIGENT AND MALA)
9)THERE'S VERY LITTLE PINK ON IT!!! WHY!!!!!??????
8)Anyway, what do you expect when someone is sitting next to a bunch of morons in the most boring and pointless class in the world? Ummmm...yeah...that makes sense to me anyway.
quoted by the Great Mala Kumar
7) i hate it how people who should not be involved in things butt in every time i make the tiinnniest comment directed towards them...sigh...
6) well aimee and kristen suck, and kristen is a wimp. are we going to meet for the FIRC project?
5) This page is supposed ,to be all about my rants and I want to rant! Grr! My cruise hasn't started yet! Now, that's a rant!
4) Kristen, well first of all, we know that you are going a stupid cruise, well good for you, but NOBODY CARES!!!!!! hate to break it to you, but some of our spring breaks will suck, like me, and stop singing, you don't have the talent for that. you are TONE DEAF!!
3) OKAY...well then...this will be continued...
2) Ha ha! I am back to edit my very own page! The only problem being that now I have to use the "big kid" HTML thingie!
1) I SUCK AT HTML!!! Oh, no!
Here's Another Beautiful story by Kristen, who wrote it all by herself! Oh joy!
Umm, yeah. It's not done, so I think I'll just wink at y'all. ;) I' will tell you it's all about sacrilige and the Great Potato! Ha, ha! Dandan never comes to check on this page, so I can say whatever I want! Whee! Did all of you guys know that she and Alex are happily married? VERY happily. Why, quite recently they had a lil' boy who I named "Ben-Hur." Isn't that just great? And, I hope everyone has noticed that this is in PINK. I'm so proud of myself for finding some... I think I'm about done, but before I go, I'd just like to mention that Kyle=Selkish and Elizabeth is very trunculant. Yes, I spelled that wrong, but I'll bet at least half you don't know what it means!
We all know that Amy Weiss first shared the religion of great potato worship with our humble school. But, how exactly was she, the messenger, enlightened? Well, it all started one day a few months ago when Amy was down in her basement getting some potatoes for dinner. One hit her on the head, and then proceeded to talk to her. It called itself "The Great Potato" and shared all the knowledge of the universe with Amy, who then shared it with Dandan. The gist of it was that he was the supreme ruler and yada yada yada, we owe our existence to him. Well, that's not true! AMY THOUGHT OF ALL THIS WHILE SUFFERING FROM CONCUSSION!! Can we say, hallucination, boys and girls? OBVIOUSLY, the Great Peach is far superior. Let's list the differences.
Peach- pinkish, grows up in the sky, clean, fuzzy
Potato-BROWN, grows in DIRT, FILTHY, bald
You decide which is far superior!
Here's More Kristen Rants, what you came to see! Well, actually you probably came because I babble like a lunatic and you can laugh at me, but don't tell me that! Stupid! :(
1) We can't play cards in journalism anymore! My slacker class is my most boring! Where's the justice/logic in THAT!? All we do is talk and watch Taylor play with the sword that's on the wall and pretend he's Russell Crowe. Yes, it is as frightening and dumb as it sounds. . .
6) I don't want nice, logical number patterns! How dull is that!
21) Tne TJ girls are always in the bathroom talking about synthetic hair and abortions! They make me feel so awkward! And, privileged, yet guilty! Maggie Walker can't come too soon. . .
-7) Musical Interlude for those of you with ADD! Let's all sing the Sketio's Song!
97¼) You guys don't know the words to the Sketio's Song! What losers! Why did I let you come here!?
340)Why don't I have a Fortress of Solitude!?? I could REALLY use one of those! I could throw little teaparties with myself. . . Much more fun than school!
802) FIRC isn't over yet! How evil is THAT? This page will hopefully be outdated VERY soon! After the FIRC program dies in a mysterious "accident". . .
-45) My Pomerania pages are seriously outdated! Why am I too lazy to get my butt over to Angelfire and update them?
Infinity) Last but not least, why am I sitting in my pajama's working on this page when it's almost noon?
Infinity + 1) Why can't I do nothing but FIRC!? And this. . . I am beating the system!
Infinity +3) Why have I kept babbling after I said I'd stop!?
It's Time for Poetry Corner! Well, okay, it's not REALLY a corner.
Here's a Lovely Poem by Steven Foy:
Elizabeth loved three things alone:
Elbows and hands to give me a smack.
Feet for Kyle,
Kicking when he talked back.
When the violence was over, what Elizabeth liked best,
was a bottle of Purell to clean up the mess.
Now, here's a poem by Elizabthe about Kyle.
Kyle loved three things alone:
Making Elizabeth cry,
Acting extra selkish,
being a pedophile.
Well, okay. That poem isn't as good as the first, but here's a wonderful poem written by our whole English group. It was started as a game, which Steven is NEVER getting back because he was using the computer during my FIRC presentation!
There once was a man named Saddam,
and Saddam had a very big bomb.
He thought it gave him power,
but when the U.S. threatened he would cower.
We found him to be a real jerk,
I wonder if he ever taught FIRC. . .
The second strike was much worse,
Saddam came home in a herse.
They say he never lost a battle,
would have been better off raising cattle.
They forgot to give his grave a lock,
now all that's left is half a sock.
He wished he's had big muscles,
There's a city in Belgium:Brussels.
Doesn't that poem at least start out good? Now, what poetry "corner" would be complete without this little gem by Jonathan Sneed?
Love is good.
Love is great.
Love is the opposite of hate.
Hate is bad.
Hate is bad.
Love is good,
and hate is bad.
Are you REALLY doing that? Man, I'm surprised nobody's seen you at the gay day parade!